Favourite song at the moment!
The pain is a good thing…
If there is something I have NEVER been able to understand, it is the people saying
- fuck yeah, my body hurts like hell because I keep doing all this push ups! It feels great!
- I just love it when my fitness trainer makes me train even harder! It’s the best feeling ever!
- I just really enjoy running til my legs can’t anymore
It is completely unfathomable to me. Why the hell would you want to make your body hurt like that? Believe me I’d wish that work out was like that for me. To be running and seriously feel that it’s great that I am so out of breath that my lungs will soon be coughed up. But I just can’t. Sometimes when I work out I’ll tell myself stuff like.
- This is soooo great! I could do this forever!
- I am not even a little bit tired!
- I just love working out.
I just never believe myself. That’s how bad of a liar I am. I can’t even lie to myself.
But now I will try to just do it anyway.. You know… that exercise thing, that everybody keep telling me I should try… Apparently is will do amazing things for you. You will never be ill or get a depression, and also, apparently you are going to be really fit and get an awesome body.. Who knows… It might even be worth all the pain…
Busy as a bee!
I’ve been very busy these last couple of weeks! Starting as a radiographer intern is hard! It’s extremely exciting and fascinating to me and I couldn’t be happier! It just means that the education is absolutely right for me! But it will take some time for me to get used to getting up at 5:45 am and first get home at 3:30pm. I know this isn’t exactly that long hours, but it is both physically and mentally hard work. Physically, because we sit down for about 30 minutes in that entire day. Believe me when I say, my body is not used to standing up that much every day! And mentally because I learn SO much every day which is quite overwhelming, and also because it is a bit draining to work with so many different patients! People always think that being a radiographer is just pushing a button. And yes, we do “just” push the button to make the picture appear on out computers. But we have to have a big understanding of the body and be able to visualize three dimensional. But what I think most people don’t know, is how much contact we actually have with the patients. We don’t just take a picture of them. We have to interact with them physically, by touching them, positioning them right in from of the x-ray and do palpation (feel their bodies to get an understanding of their anatomy). But more importantly we have to talk with them and listen, and understand what they go through. Some of the patient have just fallen and broken their wrists. Other have been through long periods of illness, and you have to be able to relate to them all. Some patients are teachers, lawyers, politicians etc, while others are uneducated alcoholics or old lonely people, who can no longer control their bladders. And you have treat everyone as individuals and show everyone respect. Even when you get a patient who is both drunk and angry (yes, I’ve met one). But that is what I LOVE about this work. You get to work with so many different people and you can actually make a difference. It gives me a lot to know that I can make somebody’s day better, just by treating them with a smile, and be there to listen, even though I can do nothing to help their situation – after all I only take a picture.
Writer
As a kid I used to write stories all the time. Usually they involved horses because I was a bit obsessed with them. But the fact is I really loved writing stories. I enjoyed making up my own world, writing things that interested me, putting myself in the place of the protagonist. When I was around 9 and 10 years old out teacher started giving us small writing assignments, where we were to write a story. Maybe a ghost story or a science fiction or something like that. And I would spend ALL my spare time to write these stories. I loved writing them and they were very long too. It became a problem because I would spend all my free time on it, and then still not have it done by the time it was due. But my teacher always allowed me to hand it in later because she knew I put a lot of time and effort into it, and she enjoyed reading them. But as I got older, the assignments we got turned from being stories I made up, to a book analysis, or a paper on picture interpretation. And I stopped writing altogether.
And I miss writing stories. I loved writing stories, though they were usually inspired by books I read myself. I am a bit of a book nerd, and I love the fantasy and Young Adult  genres the most. I’d really like to start writing again. It’s not that I have a big ambition to become a writer, or that I would ever want to publish my stories, but I’d like to get creative with stories again.
The awesome thing about writing stories is that you get to create your own world. You can be whoever you want to be, in a world you decide how should be. I am a bit of a dreamer too, and I think writing would let me escape from reality and let me just have a breathing space. I just can’t seem to get started, because I think I am extremely critical with my stories, even if they are just for my own pleasure.
I have a few ideas for some stories though. Who knows, maybe I’ll start writing again.
My dramatic life
I’d like to say that I live an adventurous life where I do something fulfilling and meaningful that really makes a difference in this world. Alas, I do not. My day today started at 1pm when I woke up, feeling really depressed and really annoyed because I dreamed a Spanish guy said I had a fat arm, and nobody would listen to me when I told them we had to cross the lake before the thunder started – which it did shortly after (this makes sense to me, though maybe not to you – anyway, it was my dream).
So I woke up feeling all shitty. Then I realised the weather was amazing and I should go read in the sun. I went outside and was annoyed by all the MANY animals that live outside. And when I say animals I mean annoying as fuck insects! So I decided to go inside and read instead. Then I spend some time reading, followed by a little bit of playing Sims 3 on my computer, followed by watching a movie. And then it was time for bed.
Now comes the REAL drama. I will now post what I wrote on Twitter while LIVE BATTLING a giant crane fly. And when I say a giant crane fly I mean HUMONGEOUS!
-Â A giant crane fly has inhabited my bedroom, and I swear I cannot rest until it is dead!!!!
- Only problem is that it’s fast as hell and every time I get near it I cringe and chicken out!
 - I think this crane fly knows I want it dead! It disappears and then SUDDENLY it silently chooses to attack my face!
-Â Have now killed crane fly AND creepy spider! That’s it, I probably won’t sleep tonight…
-Â Used two of my moms giant crime books to kill them. The spider one was worst though…
-Â After it being all squished out, sticking to the book in it’s own gore, the legs just kept twitching and twitching! Very very gross!
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 - This has traumatised me to an extent where, apparently, I cringe and panic at the sight of a fly…
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 This is all pretty dramatic right? OF COURSE NOT. But it felt seriously dramatic and life threatening while it happened. Actually woke up my dad so that he could assist me, but he went into my rooms, scanned it for crane flies, took one swing at one, and went to bed again. So I did all the war battling myself.
Now that I have been posting all this successfully without ANY bugs or spiders of any kind has annoyed me, I think I might actually be able to get a bit of sleep, before going to work tomorrow. Good night!
Alex Day
Um… if you haven’t guessed already I tend to use way too much of my free time, browsing the internet, and very often I watch random YouTube videos. But there is also some videos that I watch that aren’t random. Because these videos are made by people who I find entertaining or who otherwise intrigues me.
Like for example Alex Day.
Alex Day is a dude a.k.a. Nerimon who befriends YouTube celebrities like Charlie McDonnell a.k.a. CharlieIsSoCoolLike, John Green and Hank Green a.k.a. the Vlogbrothers.
Alex has made some pretty cool music before, but I just wanted to share some of his newer song/videos with you guys.
These are two of my new favourites:
Hyperbole and a Half
Today I have come across a blog that made my day! I have read a few entries and I have laughed so much that the tears have been running down my cheeks! Yes, it’s that funny!
The writer makes blog entries about her life, and some of the stuff is pretty serious. Like her latest entry, which is about her depression. But never have I ever read anything more accurate but also EXTREMELY funny on how depression feels!
When she writes her blog entries, it’s more like she is telling you a story! Not only because she writes in a very witty way, but also because she makes these hilarious little cartoons! It is really brilliant.
So I just really felt the need to share this, and here is the link for the blog:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.dk/
The death-sentence
You know those horrible horrible people in the world who kill thousands and thousands of people whose worst felony is being different? Sometimes you can be filled up with such a rage towards them! You think about how fx a man has killed SO many children and destroyed families and homes, and you feel for them and you just want those horrible persons to die! You really want them to feel hurt, and killing them isn’t even enough!
Sometimes you can’t help but thinking: If he did that to anyone in MY family…!!!! (not even having words horrible enough to describe what you would do).
But fundamentally I don’t think we as people have any right to kill anyone. Not even those really evil people. I understand fully that it would be for the general people’s wellfare, and there are people I would rather see dead than alive.
But when it comes to death and death-sentences I think that J.R.R Tolkien said it the best. In “The Lord of the Rings”, Gandalf says something to Frodo which I have thought about many times, and I think it to be true :” Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.”
I think this is something worth pondering about.
The Baseballs
I hadn’t discovered this band until a party recently! But The Baseballs is basically a cover band, that takes contemporary music and then turns into songs that reminds you of Elvis, rockabilly and swing dance! It’s really quite brilliant!
Check it out:
Morality
So I’ve always been the person to stop bullying, who defended those who couldn’t stand up for themselves. But in these past 4 years or so I’ve become much more cynical. Because often I don’t even like the persons I defend. It’s just that people should treat each other with respect.
But whenever I stood up for some other people they always end up clinging a lot! And I am a person who really needs her space! But I am also a person who can’t stand seeing people getting hurt. So what I do is, I usually freeze people out. And it feels horrible! But I am too much of a coward to tell them straight to their face that I don’t want to be friends because they might cry! And of course it’s not easy to hear someone tell you that you don’t want to be friends.
Like for instance, tonight I am going to a party with some old classmates. But today I just found out that a girl I used to hang out with in school because she was in out “group” of friends, but whom I just really don’t like is coming. I’ve been trying to freeze her out, which means not answering text messages, logging off facebook when she want to chat etc. But now she’s coming tonight. And it’s just horrible for mainly 2 reasons:
1. I don’t like her so I really don’t want to hang out with her. She is clingy, whiny and has no sense of situation. She’ll just blurt stuff out  that is either offending or embarrassing.
2. My conscience is just really really bad, because I’ve treated her in a not nice way at all (the freezing her out), and I’ll probably be confronted with it.
If anyone has some thoughts about this please share!
